Separate what you control
Self-Help · Beginner
Back to Explore Habits
Attribute internally what you can change and externally what you can't.
Micro-habits to get started
Small actions of a few minutes to start this habit:
Two columns
Faced with a problem, write what depends on you and what doesn't. On paper, not in your head.
The mind tends to blend it all into one diffuse mass of discomfort.
5 minOne action from the first column
Pick one thing you do control and do it today, however small.
A sense of control is rebuilt by accumulating evidence that acting works.
10 minCorrect the language
Swap 'I can't' and 'they're making me' for 'I've decided' or 'I'm going to try'.
This isn't positive thinking: it's precision about what's actually happening.
2 min