Accept instead of resisting
Emotional Intelligence · Intermediate
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Reduce the suffering you add to pain: stop fighting the inevitable so you can act on what's possible.
Micro-habits to get started
Small actions of a few minutes to start this habit:
Separate pain from resistance
Faced with discomfort, distinguish how much is the real pain and how much you add through resistance (the 'it shouldn't be', the mental loops).
Suffering grows with resistance; reducing it is what is actually in your hands.
2 minAllow the emotion without fighting it
Let the uncomfortable emotion be there for a few moments, watching it with curiosity instead of trying to expel it.
What you allow and don't feed tends to lose intensity on its own.
2 minDrop the 'should'
Swap 'this shouldn't be happening to me' for 'this is happening, what can I do now?'.
Accepting isn't resigning: it's ending the fight against the inevitable so you can act on the possible.
1 min