Tending desire
Relationships and Attraction · Intermediate
Back to Explore Habits
Bring space, novelty and play back into the relationship to sustain desire alongside the security of love.
Micro-habits to get started
Small actions of a few minutes to start this habit:
See your partner from the outside
Watch your partner in their element (doing what they love, with other people) and recover the view of them as separate and their own person.
Desire rekindles from a certain distance, not from total fusion.
2 minIntroduce novelty
Suggest doing something different together: a new plan, an unfamiliar place, an activity outside the routine.
The brain associates novelty with excitement and discovery.
5 minSet aside non-logistical time
Carve out time with your partner that isn't for discussing chores, bills or schedules.
Keep the logistical register separate from the intimate one: not everything can be admin.
10 min