Know your attachment style
Relationships and Attraction · Intermediate
Back to Explore Habits
Identify how you react to closeness and conflict in your relationships, and respond consciously instead of automatically.
Micro-habits to get started
Small actions of a few minutes to start this habit:
Name your reaction
When you feel discomfort in a relationship, identify whether it comes from anxiety (seeking closeness, fearing abandonment) or avoidance (shutting down in the face of intimacy).
Recognizing the pattern gives you the distance not to act on autopilot.
2 minAsk instead of reproaching
Express a need directly ('I need you to confirm that we're okay') rather than through reproaches or tests.
The anxious style gains enormously from asking clearly instead of demanding indirectly.
2 minQuestion the urge to flee
When you feel the urge to create distance, ask yourself whether there's a real threat or just the discomfort of closeness.
Intimacy isn't a loss of freedom.
1 min