How to Break Out of the Routine and Live More Adventures
Introduction
Do you have the feeling that time is passing faster and faster, that the years slip away almost without your noticing? It isn't just an impression. Psychologist William James proposed an explanation that still holds: time seems to speed up because, as we grow older, we live through fewer and fewer memorable events. As children everything was a first time; as adults, routine makes the days blend into one another.
The good news is that it can be reversed. Learning to create memorable experiences — what we'll call "adventures" here — is one of the best ways to live more intensely. And it's within anyone's reach, whether you're shy, short on free time or without money to spare.
What an adventure is (and why it will make you happier)
The psychology of memory shows that we remember events with a high emotional charge best. The problem is that the great milestones — a graduation, the birth of a child — are scarce. But there's no need to wait for them: we can generate memorable situations in our everyday surroundings. An adventure, in this sense, has three characteristics:
- It's exciting: if the experience leaves you cold, it isn't an adventure.
- It has an unplanned part: getting off at a random subway stop and exploring adds the unpredictable, which is what creates lasting memories.
- It takes you out of your comfort zone: facing a small fear multiplies the emotional impact.
Why bother? Because, as recorded in so many testimonies from people at the end of their lives, one of the greatest regrets is not having lived through more experiences out of fear or out of pleasing others. Creating adventures is, at bottom, investing in the memories you'll want to look back on.
3 steps for breaking out of the routine
1. Audit where you invest your time
Many people say they'd love to learn an instrument or a language, but that they "don't have time". It's almost always false: a good part of the day goes on passive leisure — social media, series, infinite scroll. It isn't about having superpowers, but about prioritizing what genuinely matters to you. Reclaim part of that time and you'll have plenty of room for something new.
2. Try new things, however small
The brain is designed to make us feel good when learning new skills, so the simplest way to add variety is to learn something. All you need is the will: there are free resources online on almost any subject, and affordable course platforms for going deeper.
3. Find your companions
It's more fun — and easier — to live adventures as a team. Once you have a new hobby, look for people who share it: the fastest way to connect with someone is having interests in common. Event and meetup apps make it easy to find groups for almost anything. Even if going alone feels a bit daunting, people at these gatherings tend to be very welcoming.
A method for more intense adventures
There's a model popularized by author Jon Levy in The 2 AM Principle, the fruit of studying the "science of living adventures". It comes down to four phases:
Establish the setting
Create the conditions that make adventures likely. Three keys:
- The right people. We behave differently depending on who we're with. Through emotional contagion, if you propose something new and your companions reject it, you'll end up abandoning the idea. Surround yourself with open, curious people. A small group works better, and don't rule out including strangers: approaching them with a simple "we want to meet new people and you seem fun, can you give us five minutes?" works surprisingly well.
- The right place. If you always go to the same places, you'll hardly live through anything new. Stepping out of your comfort zone makes you more creative. Say yes when you're invited to something different, go to events you wouldn't normally attend and, if you can, travel.
- A mission. A concrete challenge multiplies the intensity, just as a video game with clear objectives puts you in a state of flow. Set yourself specific, difficult but achievable goals ("get someone to recommend me a book at the bookstore"), and add constraints to make them more challenging.
Push (break your limits)
Almost every memorable experience involves stepping out of your comfort zone and facing a fear: of looking foolish, of talking to strangers, of doing something different. Two ways to manage it: starting little by little, breaking the challenge into stages, or doing something completely absurd that breaks the block all at once. That said, always choose situations with only perceived risk: the worst that can happen when you call a random number to ask for a recommendation is that they hang up.
Increase the intensity
If you can't find a new activity, almost any situation can become memorable with the right attitude: proposing a challenge or a bet, introducing surprises (the unexpected always makes more of an impact) or working on yourself to become a more interesting person — learning to tell stories, for example.
Continue (or finish in style)
Overcoming fears is draining, so pace yourself: you don't have to face everything on the same day. And end on the highest point: we mostly remember the beginning and the end of each experience, so it's better to leave people wanting more than to drag it out until it becomes boring.
Conclusion
Living unforgettable experiences isn't for millionaires or extroverts: it's within anyone's reach. Three ideas to start today: convince yourself that you can, develop the habit of looking for opportunities to enjoy yourself (always ask "what can I do to make this moment better?") and surround yourself with people or role models who live the kind of life you'd like. You'll be happier to the extent that you're willing to feel a little uncomfortable while pursuing what you want.
References
- Levy, J. (2015). The 2 AM Principle: Discover the Science of Adventure. Regan Arts.
- Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.
- Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). To do or to have? That is the question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6).