Choose Your Cato: The Exercise of the Imaginary Sage
Introduction
In one of his early letters to Lucilius, Seneca offers a recommendation that he borrows, curiously enough, from Epicurus, the founder of a rival school: to live as if someone good were always watching us. Choose, he tells him, someone you respect, and keep them in mind in everything you do, as both guardian and witness.
Then he suggests a name: Cato, the Roman senator famous for his integrity. And he adds, with characteristic flexibility, that if Cato seems too strict, Lucilius should choose someone of a gentler temperament, such as Laelius, a statesman known for his wisdom and approachable manner.
When you don't know what to do, ask yourself what the person you admire most would do. Often, you already know the answer.
This practice, which today might be called the exercise of the imaginary sage, is one of the simplest and most effective Stoic tools for making decisions and regulating behavior. This article explains how it works and how to choose your own Cato.
Why Having a Witness Works
Seneca observes that most mistakes are made when no one is looking. The presence of a witness, even an imaginary one, changes our behavior: we act more carefully, speak more respectfully, and resist temptation better.
Social psychology has studied something close to this. Various studies show that the feeling of being observed tends to increase cooperative behavior and reduce antisocial behavior. Effects vary across studies and not all have replicated with the same strength, but the general idea aligns with Seneca's intuition: we act differently when we feel someone is watching us.
The imaginary sage harnesses this effect, but with a twist: it is not just any observer, but someone whose values you share and whose opinion matters to you. That is why it produces not only vigilance, but also inspiration.
Choosing Whose Child to Be
In On the Shortness of Life, Seneca develops a related idea that has something liberating about it. People often say, he writes, that we did not choose our parents, that they fell to us by chance. Yet it is within our power to decide whose children we want to be: the families of the great thinkers are open to anyone who wishes to join them.
In other words, beyond the heritage we receive without choosing, we can build a chosen heritage: the role models we decide to imitate, the teachers we decide to listen to, the examples we decide to follow.
Epictetus's Question
Epictetus used a practical version of the exercise. In the Enchiridion, he advises that when going to meet someone important or facing a difficult situation, you should ask yourself what Socrates or Zeno would have done in that case. That way, he says, you will not be at a loss for how to act appropriately.
And in another passage he adds a line that sums up the spirit of the exercise: even if you are not yet Socrates, you ought to live as someone who wishes to become Socrates. The point is not to equal the model, but to steer by them.
How to Choose Your Model
You do not need to pick a Greek philosopher. Your model can be:
- Someone close to you: a grandparent, a teacher, a coach, or a friend you admire for how they handle problems.
- A historical figure: someone whose life you know and whose values you share.
- A combination: different models for different areas of life—one for work, another for family, another for health.
A few questions can help you choose:
1. Whom do I admire not for what they achieved, but for how they act? 2. Who stays calm where I lose my temper? 3. Who is honest even when it costs them? 4. What specific quality would I like to develop, and who embodies it?
Following Seneca's advice, it is best if the model is not so austere as to feel impossible to imitate. If Cato feels like too much, choose your Laelius.
How to Use It in Practice
Facing a Decision
When you do not know what to do, ask yourself: what would my model do in this situation? Picture their response in as much detail as possible. It does not have to be perfect; it just needs to pull you out of the impulse of the moment.
Facing a Temptation
Imagine that your model is present. Would you do the same thing if they were watching you? If the answer is no, that is a good sign to pause and wait.
Facing a Conflict
Imagine how your model would respond to the person provoking you. Often, the response we picture in someone else is calmer and wiser than the one that comes to us spontaneously.
Reviewing the Day
In your evening review, ask yourself what your model would have thought of your actions—not to punish yourself, but to see more clearly.
Seeing the Problem Through Someone Else's Eyes
The exercise has an additional effect that modern psychology has studied: self-distancing. When we look at a problem from another person's perspective, we usually see it more calmly and reason through it better. It is the same reason we give better advice to friends than to ourselves. The imaginary sage is, among other things, a way of giving yourself good advice from the outside.
Common Mistakes
- Idealizing the model to the point of feeling inferior. The goal is to be inspired, not to compare yourself in order to beat yourself up.
- Copying the form rather than the substance. It is not about imitating gestures or styles, but values and attitudes.
- Choosing a model solely for their success. Someone can be successful and still act poorly. What matters is how they live, not how much they achieved.
- Using it only in theory. The exercise works when applied at the moment of decision, not just when thought about in the abstract.
- Expecting to resemble them immediately. You may never reach your model's level. What matters is moving in that direction.
Conclusion
Seneca asked Lucilius to choose a guardian and live as if that person were watching. Today you can do the same. Write down your model's name and, underneath, three of their qualities that you want to develop. Over the next week, before every important decision or in every moment of temptation, ask yourself: what would this person do? Each evening, write down one situation where you used the question and what you decided.
References
- Seneca. Letters to Lucilius, 11 and 25.
- Seneca. On the Shortness of Life, 15.
- Epictetus. Enchiridion, 33 and 51.
- Kross, E., & Ayduk, O. (2017). Self-distancing: Theory, research, and current directions. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 55, 81-136.
- Robertson, D. (2019). How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius. St. Martin's Press.
- Vázquez, M. (2019). Invicto: Logra más. Sufre menos. Fitness Revolucionario.